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bridesmaid suddenly backing out?

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Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out?

  • Ctexasgurl26Ctexasgurl26
    It honestly sounds like you care more for the "look" of your wedding than the feelings of your BMs. If she truly doesn't want the tips on her nails, why not just let her get her real nails painted the way you want or decide your wedding is more important than your friendship. If a close friend of mine asked all of this of me just to have the "privilege" of being in your wedding, we wouldn't be friends anymore. It is just rude to think your wedding is more important than her job! IMHO
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  • TXKristanTXKristan
    I'm curious, luv2cook13 ....

    Were you honestly expecting us to say "ugh, that wench has no respect for you on YOUR day!!!!  Kick her to the curb for not doing the matchy-matchy nails!!!"
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-suddenly-backing-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23fe363-7d2d-4395-b167-741e2d296a60Post:77c5ed41-e99a-48d4-a0ad-4c174a186528">Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out?</a>:
    [QUOTE]This whole mismatched bridesmaid thing is new. I'm not a fan, and that is okay. Many brides choose to have their bridesmaids match entirely and do not offer to pay for anything. I don't think that is right, and so I'm paying. The dress is a very simple black cocktail dress that they all chose together with the intention to wear it over and over again. Same with shoes. She can do what she wants with her nails after the wedding.
    Posted by luv2cook13[/QUOTE]
    You have absolutely no right to try to control how her fingernails look on your wedding day.  Get over yourself.
    image
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  • zobergzoberg
    She's your friend before she's your bridesmaid. Do not force her to wear nails that will prevent her from working and earning money.
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  • KnottieKnottie
    Yes, I did have a few pictures that I wanted to do with nails. That is the point. There were a few that had to do with rings and focuses on the hands. I offered drug store stick on nails. She said no. I offered for her to have it on her natural nails. No. I offered a plain french, no design. No. I offered a simple clear coat. No.

    Her nails look like crap. Sorry, but they're dirty, have hangnails, and they're all short, bitten up, and have calluses. She admits they're not pretty. These were pictures that meant a lot to me and I wanted to frame them, but not with dirty fingers. It's not exactly like I can tell her she can't be in those pictures. I wouldn't really kick her out, but I am frustrated that she always agrees and then says no later.
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  • sydariessydaries
    OP, you need to take a step back and reevaluate what's important: Your friendship with someone who is probably near and dear to your heart OR the appearance of her nails for 6 hours.

    You are being ridiculous. And the mis-matched isn't completely new, long ago women would wear their best clothes, not matching clothes. So don't pull that card. AND you DIDN'T have to pay for the dress, if you didn't offer, she would have taken herself out of the BP and you wouldn't be mad at her non-conformist, self-righteous, rebellious, income-loving ways.
    "I hope your FSIL whips them out when you say "I do" and swings them all around with red, sparkly titty tassles running up and down the asile saying 'Look at my new tittaaayyys!' " -- Isn't that how all new boobs should be debuted? Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • KnottieKnottie
    OP, from your remarks, it is coming across that you still think you're right. Are you really unable to see why you are wrong?

    Do you care more about nails than your friendship?

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  • ViczaesarViczaesar
    In Response to Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out?:
    [QUOTE]It honestly sounds like you care more for the "look" of your wedding than the feelings of your BMs. If she truly doesn't want the tips on her nails, why not just let her get her real nails painted the way you want or decide your wedding is more important than your friendship. If a close friend of mine asked all of this of me just to have the "privilege" of being in your wedding, we wouldn't be friends anymore. It is just rude to think your wedding is more important than her job! IMHO
    Posted by Ctexasgurl26[/QUOTE]
    Or, you know, not try to tell her what to do with her nails at all.  I don't wear nail polish on my hands, period.
    image
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  • sydariessydaries
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-suddenly-backing-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23fe363-7d2d-4395-b167-741e2d296a60Post:0efd7ccc-4b89-41fc-ba75-ec311ac72cdf">Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, I did have a few pictures that I wanted to do with nails. That is the point. There were a few that had to do with rings and focuses on the hands. I offered drug store stick on nails. She said no. I offered for her to have it on her natural nails. No. I offered a plain french, no design. No. I offered a simple clear coat. No. Her nails look like crap. Sorry, but they're dirty, have hangnails, and they're all short, bitten up, and have calluses. She admits they're not pretty. These were pictures that meant a lot to me and I wanted to frame them, but not with dirty fingers. It's not exactly like I can tell her she can't be in those pictures. I wouldn't really kick her out, but I am frustrated that she always agrees and then says no later.
    Posted by luv2cook13[/QUOTE]

    Are you buying them all matching rings or something?

    Go look up some other pictures on Pinterest.
    "I hope your FSIL whips them out when you say "I do" and swings them all around with red, sparkly titty tassles running up and down the asile saying 'Look at my new tittaaayyys!' " -- Isn't that how all new boobs should be debuted? Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • kmbryant2413kmbryant2413
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-suddenly-backing-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23fe363-7d2d-4395-b167-741e2d296a60Post:0efd7ccc-4b89-41fc-ba75-ec311ac72cdf">Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, I did have a few pictures that I wanted to do with nails. That is the point. There were a few that had to do with rings and focuses on the hands. I offered drug store stick on nails. She said no. I offered for her to have it on her natural nails. No. I offered a plain french, no design. No. I offered a simple clear coat. No. Her nails look like crap. Sorry, but they're dirty, have hangnails, and they're all short, bitten up, and have calluses. She admits they're not pretty. These were pictures that meant a lot to me and I wanted to frame them, but not with dirty fingers. It's not exactly like I can tell her she can't be in those pictures. I wouldn't really kick her out, but I am frustrated that she always agrees and then says no later.
    Posted by luv2cook13[/QUOTE]

    <div>She is a guitar player? WTH do you expect? It HURTS to play guitar without those calouses. I don't know if you know that, but even for my best friends wedding I would not do that if I needed my natural nails untouched for my profession. You backpeddling and trying to make HER look bad does not excuse YOU of your selfish behavior.</div>
    image
    Next time, just fart. - BriSox81
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  • AddieL73AddieL73
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-suddenly-backing-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23fe363-7d2d-4395-b167-741e2d296a60Post:24bd2124-650b-4fc9-8aaf-7709d5c30162">Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out? : Of course I did! That would be FINE! She won't do ANYTHING to them at all!
    Posted by luv2cook13[/QUOTE]


    Seriously. WTF difference does it even make? Why is this a hill you wish to die on?
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-suddenly-backing-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23fe363-7d2d-4395-b167-741e2d296a60Post:0efd7ccc-4b89-41fc-ba75-ec311ac72cdf">Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, I did have a few pictures that I wanted to do with nails. That is the point. There were a few that had to do with rings and focuses on the hands. I offered drug store stick on nails. She said no. I offered for her to have it on her natural nails. No. I offered a plain french, no design. No. I offered a simple clear coat. No. Her nails look like crap. Sorry, but they're dirty, have hangnails, and they're all short, bitten up, and have calluses. She admits they're not pretty. These were pictures that meant a lot to me and I wanted to frame them, but not with dirty fingers. It's not exactly like I can tell her she can't be in those pictures. I wouldn't really kick her out, but I am frustrated that she always agrees and then says no later.
    Posted by luv2cook13[/QUOTE]
    You want to frame a picture of fingernails?  You have more problems than we could possibly solve for you. 
    image
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  • Liatris2010Liatris2010
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-suddenly-backing-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23fe363-7d2d-4395-b167-741e2d296a60Post:0efd7ccc-4b89-41fc-ba75-ec311ac72cdf">Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, I did have a few pictures that I wanted to do with nails. That is the point. <strong>There were a few that had to do with rings and focuses on the hands</strong>. I offered drug store stick on nails. She said no. I offered for her to have it on her natural nails. No. I offered a plain french, no design. No. I offered a simple clear coat. No. Her nails look like crap. Sorry, but they're dirty, have hangnails, and they're all short, bitten up, and have calluses. She admits they're not pretty. These were pictures that meant a lot to me and I wanted to frame them, but not with dirty fingers. It's not exactly like I can tell her she can't be in those pictures. I wouldn't really kick her out, but I am frustrated that she always agrees and then says no later.
    Posted by luv2cook13[/QUOTE]

    These sound like lovely pictures of you and your husband's hands. Leave the bridemaid's out of it. You are putting your desire for fingernail pictures over your friend's autonomy over her own body. I can assure you, when it comes time to order pictures, you're not going to pick the one of your BM's fingernails, you are going to pick one of their faces. Stop fighting with your friend over nailpolish, it is silly.
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  • winelover123winelover123
    Just skip the pictures of the hands. Will you really hang them in your home after the wedding? You'll have plenty of other pictures to frame. I'm curious as to the picture of hands you want to have now though.
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  • TXKristanTXKristan
    At the end of the day, what matters more ... Your friend standing by your side when you marry your man, or a few pictures of hands?
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain
    Guys, come on here. Don't you know that like, her wedding will like, totally be invalid if even one chick's nails aren't uhmayzing? The priest would like, refuse to sign the license and everything will be ruined forevers oooooooooommmmmmmmmmmgggggggggf!
    Anniversary
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  • KnottieKnottie
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-suddenly-backing-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23fe363-7d2d-4395-b167-741e2d296a60Post:0efd7ccc-4b89-41fc-ba75-ec311ac72cdf">Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yes, I did have a few pictures that I wanted to do with nails. That is the point. There were a few that had to do with rings and focuses on the hands. I offered drug store stick on nails. She said no. I offered for her to have it on her natural nails. No. I offered a plain french, no design. <strong>No. I offered a simple clear coat. No. Her nails look like crap. Sorry, but they're dirty, have hangnails, and they're all short, bitten up, and have calluses. She admits they're not pretty. These were pictures that meant a lot to me and I wanted to frame them, but not with dirty fingers</strong>. It's not exactly like I can tell her she can't be in those pictures. I wouldn't really kick her out, but I am frustrated that she always agrees and then says no later.
    Posted by luv2cook13[/QUOTE]

    You're describing the hands of a guitar player. Maybe you should not be friends with guitar players.
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  • cookie0803cookie0803
    In Response to Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out?:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out? : She is a guitar player? WTH do you expect? It HURTS to play guitar without those calouses.
    Posted by kmbryant2413[/QUOTE]

    First, this. It took a while to build those "ugly things" up, and it does hurt. Sorry that won't be pretty in your pictures.

    Also, those aren't the pictures you frame. Those are the ones you upload to facebook and pinterest, then walk away.
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  • KnottieKnottie
    edited March 2013
    Has anyone called troll/MUD yet? I call it.
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  • TheBaysideBrideTheBaysideBride
    OK a) you are a troll but b) do the design on Lee Press-On Nails, which, if I remember from 5th grade, pop right off. usually when you are sitting next to a boy you like.
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  • misshart00misshart00
    I think I have one framed picture of my bridesmaids. And it's little and on a table. When you order photos, you'll be ordering ones of you and your husband, not your bridesmaids fingernails. And if you do have pictures of your bridesmaids, I agree with Lia, it'll be of their smiling faces. Don't worry about their fingernails.
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  • OwningAHome1981OwningAHome1981
    Why don't you stop requiring so much out of these friends and just be happy that they are even there for you at all? The BMs are doing this because they care about YOU.  

    Being a bridesmaid is not always something everyone wants to do. Even if I didn't want to be a BM, for a good friend, I would of course say yes and stand beside her. It is not fun and games and cupcakes- it a HONOR and it can be a hard work. It is expensive, it is time-consuming, it is demanding, they usually chip in for the shower and bachelorette. There are a lot of tasks that these girls do for the bride- their feelings need to be respected.

    And the point about the BM not liking the dress is irrelevant. I've worn a lot of hideous bridesmaids dresses. That is the nature of the beast. No one is going to like everything.

    To care so much about such minutia as nails really is pretty silly.
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  • KnottieKnottie
    This is your friend, right? A good, close friend who you wanted to stand up with you on your joyous wedding day where you bind yourself to the love of you life?

    Because the way you're acting, it seems like you view her more as a prop to take pretty pictures with and that's it. These are your FRIENDS. (Unless we're really going in the Twilight Zone and you picked people you knew who were all blonde and between 5'7" and 5'9" so all the pictures would be perfect matchey matches...) Please take a step back and realize that you care more about your friends than nail polish.

    Why don't you tell us about this friend of yours. How long have you been friends? What are some great memories you have of her? Why did you choose her to be in your bridal party? Maybe telling us these things will help put into perspective that weddings are about relationships and not nail colors.
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  • sydariessydaries
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-suddenly-backing-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23fe363-7d2d-4395-b167-741e2d296a60Post:66d87cd5-5787-43ba-8b47-e33c1fb1dded">Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out? : You're describing the hands of a guitar player. Maybe you should not be friends with guitar players.
    Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

    I'm surprised you have a friend who does something other than sitting in front of the mirror.
    "I hope your FSIL whips them out when you say "I do" and swings them all around with red, sparkly titty tassles running up and down the asile saying 'Look at my new tittaaayyys!' " -- Isn't that how all new boobs should be debuted? Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain
    In Response to Re:bridesmaid suddenly backing out?:[QUOTE]Has anyone called troll/MUD yet? I call it. Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

    Shhh, don't scare it away. We haven't had one in a while, and they run when you shine light on them.
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  • Ctexasgurl26Ctexasgurl26
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-suddenly-backing-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23fe363-7d2d-4395-b167-741e2d296a60Post:feab75f6-9a40-4a81-af4b-71dbc1c12ca1">Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out? : Or, you know, not try to tell her what to do with her nails at all.  I don't wear nail polish on my hands, period.
    Posted by Viczaesar[/QUOTE]

    I agree. I didn't think of that when I wrote my post. I don't really understand why some Bride's get so control freak that they honestly think their wedding is more important than their friends's lives. This is a HUGE pet peave of mine.
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  • KnottieKnottie
    WAIT, I take it back. I totally support the framing of nail photos and forcing BMS to get them done....just look at the possibilities. This seriously would go on my wall. One girl could have Animal, one could have Rowlf, and one with Fozzy or Gonzo.

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  • KnottieKnottie
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-suddenly-backing-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23fe363-7d2d-4395-b167-741e2d296a60Post:723cdc65-7d02-419f-b7c4-05b824803cb3">Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out? : I call Animal!!
    Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

    If my girls won't go for it, you can replace one of them.
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  • misshart00misshart00
    In Response to Re:bridesmaid suddenly backing out?:[QUOTE]WAIT, I take it back. I totally support the framing of nail photos and forcing BMS to get them done....just look at the possibilities. This seriously would go on my wall. One girl could have Animal, one could have Rowlf, and one with Fozzy or Gonzo. Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]

    But then they wouldn't MATCH. They would just coordinate. Which works too
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  • AddieL73AddieL73
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-suddenly-backing-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:c23fe363-7d2d-4395-b167-741e2d296a60Post:3ed0ee7c-0a2d-4e4a-9c44-cf14c1c743e4">Re: bridesmaid suddenly backing out?</a>:
    [QUOTE]WAIT, I take it back. I totally support the framing of nail photos and forcing BMS to get them done....just look at the possibilities. This seriously would go on my wall. One girl could have Animal, one could have Rowlf, and one with Fozzy or Gonzo.
    Posted by MuppetFan[/QUOTE]


    I call Fozzie. Wokka Wokka!
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