Ending time, no dinner

taraelements · March 2013

Hello fellow knotties, We are having a small wedding and in the attempt to save money, we are not serving dinner. Our guest list is only family and closest friends. That said I'd like to spend as much time with my guests as possible but currently, the wedding ends at 5pm clean up by 6pm with ceremony starting at 2pm. I'm thinking of adding an hour to the end of our timeline, but is that inappropriate in consideration of dinner time? I'm torn on this because I feel our friends and family would enjoy as much time as well, but I don't want our guests to feel obligated to stay if they want to go have dinner. Thank you for your feedback. Tara

kmbryant2413 · March 2013

So you are having people come to your ceremony, and then they are just..mingling? Are you feeding them anything at all? I'd give you a gracious decline if you expected me to be at your event from 2-6 with no sustinance at all.

A reception, if that is what you are having, is a thank-you for the guests coming to the ceremony and you should host them accordingly. That includes food. If you choose not to, you should expect some people to leave after the ceremony.

ETA: So you feel like I'm not singling you out, even if my only sibling was getting married and couldn't feed me for 4 hours, I'd have to say 'Yo, bro, I have to get some food. BRB.' I am hypoglycemic, and blood sugar is a very important thing to me. A cake and punch reception for that short of a time would be acceptable, I believe.

nda8414 · March 2013

If I wasn't serving dinner, I'd end it at 4 or 4:30. 5 is cutting it close to me. While I'm sure your guests adore you, don't underestimate what a low blood sugar can do to a person. Don't assume everyone will want to stay til 6...I probably wouldn't

Summer2011Bride · March 2013

Are you serving cake or appetizers or something? If so, then I think it's fine to wrap up at 5. I have seen invitations with reception end times on them, and I'd have no issue with that.

If you are not planning on serving any sort of food at all, you need to re-think that and at least offer appetizers or dessert.

Kate61487 · March 2013

I think 2-5 is pretty generous with no substantial food (ditto km that there will be something, though, right?).

I've only been to one cake and punch reception; we didn't time it or anything, but I'd guess the timeline was something like: ceremony 2-2:30; receiving line so we got to say hi to the B&G, in the reception area by 3. Grabbed little finger sandwiches and a cup of punch, chatted with MOG, they did the cake cutting at probably 3:30. I'd guess we were on our way out the door by 4, 4:30 tops.

I presume you need to tell the venue / pay extra for the extra hour, right? Is this something they'll let you do last minute? if it's 4:45 and there are still a lot of people hanging out can you get the extra hour without paying for it if everyone is gone by 4?

Wheels987 · March 2013

Question for you...

Is this your actual ceremony? I looked at your other posts and your original plan was to get married 2 months before, and then have a "reception" later. Did you change your mind? I really hope you're not faking a ceremony just to have people mingle about afterwards.

http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_legally-married-ceremony-disagreements

JoanE2012 · March 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_ending-time-no-dinner?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:09c60140-6d76-4a0b-a541-9653bcabc785Post:506d3d82-fef5-4398-93c1-59aa3caf6602">Ending time, no dinner</a>:
[QUOTE]Hello fellow knotties, We are having a small wedding and in the attempt to save money, we are not serving dinner. Our guest list is only family and closest friends. That said I'd like to spend as much time with my guests as possible but currently, the wedding ends at 5pm clean up by 6pm with ceremony starting at 2pm. I'm thinking of adding an hour to the end of our timeline, but is that inappropriate in consideration of dinner time? I'm torn on this because I feel our friends and family would enjoy as much time as well, but I don't want our guests to feel obligated to stay if they want to go have dinner. Thank you for your feedback. Tara
Posted by taraelements[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>It would help if you could tell us what is going on during the timeframe after the ceremony. Are you serving your guests cake/light refreshments? You're certainly not expecting them to just hang around with no food or beverages, right?

</div>

Lored · March 2013

Agreeing with everyone else. Even if your reception is not taking place during an actual "mealtime", I would still expect drinks and light fare. I'd definitely be leaving shortly after the ceremony otherwise.

Peledreamsofrain · March 2013

Please, please, please tell me you are at least serving appetizers and cake. PLEASE.

Your wedding deserves more respect and dignity than just abandoning your guests near dinner time. If that's your plan, then just go to Vegas to elope and save everyone the drama that will ensue.

taraelements · March 2013

I love you guys! Thank you for the quick replies. : I forgot to share that yes, there will be cake and appetizers, beer, wine, etc. For our small guest list, the appetizers will be substantial. It is our family and closest friends only so I don't think they would be upset about staying until 6, but I also understand some may want to leave earlier. Timeline is 2pm ceremony, 2:30 formal family pics, Ben and I are doing most pics before ceremony. 35 or 6 we will be have our reception. I'm totally DIY on this and my groom isn't big on dancing so he requested I keep it more low key. So maybe cutting it off at 5 will suffice?? I just don't want to rush our time together.

nda8414 · March 2013

I don't think that changes my opinion, but you know your crowd, we don't. Good luck!

libby2483 · March 2013

Cake and appetizers sounds perfect for that time of day. I would keep it at 2:00-5:00 because anytime after that ventures into dinner time.

Lored · March 2013

So glad you're having refreshments! I'm just thinking if there's no dancing or anything, you'd be fine to end at 5. Is there a reason you actually need to nail down an exact end time? Is it possible with the venue to just leave it open and see if your guests are leaving or may be lingering longer?

Peledreamsofrain · March 2013

In Response to Re:Ending time, no dinner:[QUOTE]I love you guys! Thank you for the quick replies. :
I forgot to share that yes, there will be cake and appetizers, beer, wine, etc. For our small guest list, the appetizers will be substantial. It is our family and closest friends only so I don't think they would be upset about staying until 6, but I also understand some may want to leave earlier.
Timeline is 2pm ceremony, 2:30 formal family pics, Ben and I are doing most pics before ceremony. 35 or 6 we will be have our reception. I'm totally DIY on this and my groom isn't big on dancing so he requested I keep it more low key. So maybe cutting it off at 5 will suffice?? I just don't want to rush our time together. Posted by taraelements[/QUOTE]

Whew!!!! Yes that sounds lovely. People probably will load up on apps and have lat dinners after leaving.

wittykitty14 · March 2013

That sounds wonderful! I hate large crowds and long, drawn out parties of social awkwardness. It sounds like you're giving a lot of thought into making this go smoothly, and I think it will go great! Congrats to you!

STARMOON44 · March 2013

I think that sounds like a great plan for ending at 5, and see no reason why you should push it into possibly problematic territory by extending to 6. Enjoy the day!

Ending time, no dinner

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